Feminists and first world women who stand predominantly on victimhood as platform need to recognize the powers they have, and those they have had from the beginning, and stand on them as well. This power has had many names, uses and incarnations, even when not outwardly or officially acknowledged or labeled as such. This power also includes the power of free will, for women are as equally the sums of their deeds as are men. Wherever there are differences between the sexes, there are also advantages unique to each sex that rebalance the playing field we know as Mankind over Time.
First world women, including me, have the same access to information and ability to choose where, when and how we present ourselves in society and how we conduct ourselves. Our paths are our own. As adults, our mistakes and poor choices are also our own. Aside from imprisonment, assault and abuse as defined and punished by law, we are not nor ever have been always or only the unwitting victims. If we persist on blaming only the men and hold only other family members and extraneous others accountable for the ills in our lives, we remain captive to weakness we ascribe to ourselves by default.
Additionally, where adult interactions are concerned, women are participants in and victims of their own poor choices. Women are capable of being perpetrators, manipulators and aggressors as well. To stand solely on the platform of victim recipient is to deny personal accountability and suggest some inherent female inability to assimilate life’s lessons and a lack of intelligence that would otherwise help guide our paths in life. It also suggests women are unable to process and apply all the constructive and relevant information is available to all 24/7. To posture as if we are fully exempt, innocent and hapless victims and insist on dual standards also leans horrifically cliché, antithetical to feminist self empowerment.
The ongoing “us versus them” (man vs woman) mindset of New Wave Feminism perpetuates the anger of Alpha female leaders, women burdened with short-changed self-perception, with deep seated, personal agendas. The grass is always greener, a fallacy broadcast non-stop on social media that hits on many levels given the current tech addiction epidemic, leaves beta female followers, blind adherents who are also victims of feminist negativity, stuck in unproductive, anti-self actualizing emotional and behavioral ruts. New Wave Feminism seems to provide an alternative as an negativity reliant outlet, whose followers erroneously believe that to vent and complain in general is to stand on a political platform.
Feminist negativism, separatism and dissatisfaction, which breeds disharmony with partners and family, is counterintuitive to women’s existence as female humans. Feminist negativism, separatism and dissatisfaction likewise confuse the aspirational goals and life paths of women, which is counterintuitive to their existence as citizens who, in First World Nations, already possess equal rights as granted by law. But the law, thanks to hashtagged, populist trending tactics, has taken a momentary backseat….
2017 was the year career-ending/family-breaking/life-uprooting hashtag retribution usurped the constructs and legacy of our nation’s legal system. #MeToo started out as a specific stand against criminal assault, but was appropriated by Hollywood as a hot topic activist press quest. Thanks to limelight seeking via activism (virtue seeking self promotion) and the highly questionable social media campaigns undertaken by underground entities, #MeToo spread like an activist flu, engulfing the full spectrum of adult interactivity, all good and all bad and everything in between. Mutual misunderstanding, momentary discomfort or disagreement and even bad dates became undifferentiated from assault as criminal acts. Even the merely and anonymously accused have paid dearly and often disproportionately, for to defend oneself is perceived as challenging a movement which mandates 100% participation and blind support of all women. And those accusations became bounty hunter, judge, jury and executioner, prevailingly unquestioned and unchallenged in a cultural climate that no longer permits dissent or differing opinion, which has also rendered innocent until proven guilty moot.
2017 was the year gals’ Vegas getaways officially transmogrified from infidelity dabbling and binge shopping to organized protest festival attendance. The Women’s March on Washington, DC, a Feminist Bitchella, was there for women who had significant amounts of free time, funds and familial commitment to spare. Celebrity appearances, politicized polarization (only pro-choice abortion advocates were allowed; others were sent home) and French-peppered, femmy-edgy speech stoked fires still smoldering with post-election anger of Hillary adherents. Little changed as a result of this and other similar events, other than them having blossomed as not-for-profit businesses, as the plight of women in the US is less a persecution issue as it is the sum of ill fate combined with poor personal choice. Bitchella, while it fostered nothing noteworthy on a legislative level, served well as media ratings fodder and even better as a travel/leisure time venture for the DC-area hospitality industry and retailers’ bottom lines.
2017 also saw Feminist mile markers realized at the motion picture box office, with the top grossing films centered on female characters, about which much was made. Funny, that these were all make believe characters in fantasies and fairy tales. Funny too, that these powerful gals were all young, curvaceous and slender and pretty in the traditional sense of the word. Funny, that while the laws upon which our nation was founded are subject to populist re-writes, some things never change….
IMO: Sorely absent from the Feminist picture is an acceptance of unequivocal personal reproductive accountability among women. Pro-Planning, or some other, catchier term, with full focus on conception prevention, should be built and promoted so as to become the next evolutionary reproductive platform, intended for all women on all sides of all aisles. Reproductive control is the most elemental form of personal accountability, which fosters self empowerment and sustainability. This holds true not only for any woman, but for all offspring who, when conscientiously produced, are conscientiously parented and provided for, resulting in manageable and productive population growth. Because the bio-reality will always be that it is women who bear the children, aside from STD protection, women should let go of the futile pursuit of male contraceptive mandates and of unwanted/forced/coercive male reproduction (fatherhood) and instead lay claim to full, personal reproductive accountability for their own sakes. It is in any woman’s best interest to do this. When that day comes, the political Pro-Choice vs Pro-Life standoff will at last be set aside, and the societal albatross of unwanted- and over-reproduction will diminish, if not disappear. The myriad domino effects, including crime, violence and abuse, will likewise diminish, and Feminism will no longer be needed to either factionalize or affirmatize groups or individuals, allowing for an organically strengthened and better accomplished society.
Limelight Polarization: Celebrity entertainers serving as American politicians is a well-established precedent. But they now also pose as our think tank intellectuals, political experts, policy makers and cultural Gestapo, and broadcast events across the board, which has grown repetitive and boring, thanks to ad nauseum celeb proselytizing. Celebrity women in particular rose up, out and beyond their male counterparts as vestal activists, safe on their pedestals and leaving the men to teeter on tightrope behavioral judgement lines (virtue vetting), with neither statute of limitations nor situational nuances accounted for. Viewers still willing to suffer through interminable awards show broadcasts now have to endure Hollywood’s “best” as they preach, police and create separation in entertainment realms where, from sport to song, what should unite now only polarizes. And Suffrajet Black? The new LBD is, in the end, just another excuse to shop, shop, shop. I have always said, When in doubt, wear black.
Appropriation Censorship: Founded on platforms of self-promotion and Virtue Posturing, the #metoo campaign is a high-profile arm of a censorial wave that includes attacks free speech, the quashing of humor, cultural appropriation censorship and aggressive affirmative action that embraces falsehoods, denies facts and succumbs to the mandates of mob appeasement. In my opinion, intellectual appropriation censorship is practically inevitable. This will target educational institutions and all its instructors and experts, who will lose their positions to those who inherently “possess” or “are of,” by birth or direct heritage, any given subject. 2017 saw this set into motion with Halloween costume Moana-gate, where major retailers acquiesced and pulled product to placate self-righteous activists who claimed that, if one were not “of” a given character, one could neither assimilate or celebrate that character via dress-up (including children), nor could any caregiver not “of” any given character possess the capacity to teach or correctly appreciate said character, even if only on the merits of its universally shared, general attributes.
Free Love Full Circle: Interestingly, promiscuity, the cornerstone of Feminist’s earlier Women’s Lib movement, is in default reversal, certainly in appearance, thanks to #metoo’s resurrection of Vestal Activism and wearing of Victorian-invoking Suffrajet Black. This is an interesting and unintended twist, but could be a welcome one, if it is able to evolve the 21st century adult relationship playing field. This might help reduce the hypocrisy of #metoo, which is based on a collective pretense that women have never played any power games to cash in, or preyed upon any male in order to get what they wanted or ahead, using what was once euphemistically referred to as their “charms,” less euphemistically as their “wiles” and “guile.”
Original Power Play: Women are also guilty of playing games. They have hitched their aspirational wagons to the gravy trains of men they sought to take advantage of, and they have sought payback for ill-fated or failed pursuit (reform/save/inspire-to-monogamous-commitment-and-providership) attempts when the targeted men were simply not interested (or at least not aspirationally inspired); in other words, when unhappy endings were the results of fairy tale/50 Shades-fix-the-gajillionaire pursuits. It would be a brave gesture indeed, if a contingency of celebrity women would set a new spot-lighted example by admitting to their willing and intentional roles in the sexual manipulation game, especially the failed ones, who then commit equally as men to the higher standards upon which they and their sisters now insist of all others.
To Err is Human: There are incidents where the woman is a victim. There are incidents where the mistakes made by both parties involved. There are situations where the victim card is played as a ploy. All three possibilities need to be considered without blanket denigration to anyone who challenges the current climate of unequivocal male responsibility. Facts, which should remain above trend reliant platforming are lamentably back-seated, thanks to social media’s continuous din. Facts, which is to say ALL facts and statistics, must remain accessible to ALL, and be considered by ALL, even if they don’t align with the agendas of those who are momentarily enthroned as top influencers. Dangerous factual side-stepping, whether to placate society’s most volatile demographics or to skew extremist/one-sided agendas, will only come back at greater cost to all.
As woman, wife, mother and imperfect human, I am entitled and qualified to appropriate a few hashtags of my own:
#ImNotPerfectEither #ElevateYourself #ItTakesTwo #LiveAndLearn
And I ask: #WhatDoYouDoAndSayWhenTheCamerasAreOff
#VictimsAreNotExperts #FailedPursuitDothNotAVictimMake #GetOverIt #LiveAndLearn #ClickandLikeQuestsAreNotLeadership #ClickAndLikeQuestsAreNotMissions
#ItStartsAndEndsAtHome #DontForgetThoseClosestToYou #WhyDenyWhoAndWhatWeAre
#LookInTheMirror #GoldenRule #GlassHouses